Recent Photo

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Here’s a recent self-portrait while sitting in my car, where I spend a lot of my time.

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Update

Greetings to those who still continue to visit The Thin Edge, even though my time and energies have obviously been focused on other things for the past three years. Yes, we moved back to the United States three years ago this month. The time has flown as we have watched our family grow: three grandchildren have quickly multiplied into nine over this short period of time.

My American heart doctor confirmed that I had suffered a heart attack in Wales in March 2008, so within a few months of returning, the VA (Veterans Administration) took great care of me and completed stent surgery at Keesler Air Force Base in Biloxi, Mississippi. Five stents later, I immediately felt a huge difference Continue reading

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I just recently downloaded a Kindle vers…

I just recently downloaded a Kindle version of Mere Churchianity: Finding your way back to a Jesus-shaped spirituality by the late Michael Spencer, aka The Internet Monk. What a refreshing and stimulating read thus far!

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Our son and his family is currently visi…

Our son and his family is currently visiting us from Sheffield, England, over the Christmas holidays. On December 23rd, his in-laws are making their first visit to the United States. We’ve not had all four children together in the same place for Christmas in about eight or nine years. This afternoon we’re have family portraits taken: four children, a daughter-in-law, two sons-in-law, and six grandchildren!

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Closing this blog

Well, it’s been just over four years ago that I began this blog. It was excellent therapy for me and it gave me a platform to talk about things that I felt, at the time, to be important and relevant. To me, it didn’t really matter whether anyone read my posts or not; however, I discovered that a lot of people were singing out of the same songbook and a few people probably became convinced that I had completely lost my mind or my faith.

I have been back in the United States now for eighteen months and, like every other American, I have sadly been forced to scratch and claw my way to sustain even the most austere existence possible in the current economic climate. It took eight months to land a full-time position and we almost went bankrupt in the process, so I’ve had virtually no time to blog in any meaningful way. I’ve settled for a more convenient approach via status updates on Facebook, so if you really want to keep in touch, please search for Bill Lollar on Facebook and send me a friend request with a brief note explaining that you have been following my blog and wanted to stay in touch. I’m a little bit eccentric about “friend requests” so if you don’t write me a personal note, I’ll probably just delete your request.

Thanks for the interaction over these past four years! I really miss writing and maybe one day I’ll return to blogging in my retirement years, if that ever becomes a possibility for me.

Take care! Unless I change my mind this blog will disappear on December 25, 2010.

Blessings!

Bill Lollar

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Back in the saddle again!

Some of my subscribers and regular readers may be wondering, “What happened to the guy who once wrote this blog?” It’s been more than a little crazy since we returned to the states in late May 2009. I started working really long hours at an AT&T call center, then they decided after five weeks of training and five weeks of OJT that I didn’t have the right kind of statistics for a long-term position. And I was fired! It was my first experience and, sadly, I was ineligible to draw unemployment benefits since we had lived overseas over the previous five years.

Thankfully, another promising position surfaced during that first job and it s-l-o-w-l-y simmered on the back burner over many months. I thought it would never come to fruition, but after four and a half months of unemployment I began working on November 23, 2009, as a special investigator retained by the U. S. Office of Personnel Management (OPM), the federal government’s HR department. I’m doing background investigations, primarily for the Department of Defense (DoD) that lead to security clearances for members of the U. S. military and defense contractors. The most common background investigation looks at every place a person has lived, worked, or attended school over the past ten years. Every single day I get to do my part towards insuring a strong national security. An average week consists of interviewing people and gathering background information from courthouse records, real estate leasing companies, high schools and universities, all sorts of job sites, and neighborhoods.

Things are settling down slightly, so I hope to resume a little more writing than the past eight or nine months. That’s not an ironclad promise, but an aspiration. I have a lot to share, but not nearly as much time to write, which is very frustrating for me. Thanks for hanging in there! I’ve been amazed that my blog stats have not wavered very much at all, which means that a lot of new people are finding the content that I’ve built up over time. Hopefully, they’re enjoying what they find. Anyway, gotta run!

Posted in Background Investigations, Blogging, Personal | 3 Comments

Coloring Outside the Lines

Image © kate_dave_hugh (flickr)

For those readers with children and those who have worked closely with toddlers, I’m sure you know what happens when a child is given his/her first coloring book and a box of wax crayons. Without any apparent (to us) logic or forethought, the child quickly launches their art career and randomly scribbles across the pages without consideration of the obvious black lines that everyone knows—except for the toddler—you’re supposed to treat as boundaries for each color. As a recovering perfectionist, this used to drive me up the wall as each of my four children would “ruin” a brand-new coloring book. Children can spend hours with a new coloring book and, of course, they always enjoy sharing their art with the people they love. “Look, Dad! I made this for you!”

What I didn’t realize then—and hopefully I look at things differently now—is that children approach their artwork as a natural expression of their innocence, freedom and individuality. They enjoy using any medium, whether it’s finger paint, watercolors, crayons, pencil, ketchup, mud, or even the poop inside their diapers (as we discovered with one of our daughters) to create uniquely original works of art on the most unlikely surfaces…even the faces of their siblings! But soon we begin telling them that they are supposed to color inside the lines and eventually they learn to conform their artistic expression to our logical, adult expectations. This happens as we give feedback such as, “That’s pretty good, Brian, but it would be so much better if you kept the red crayon inside the lines of Superman’s cape. You’ll do better next time!”

We often carry this same line of thinking into the Christian faith. Mike Yaconelli makes the following observation in his book, Dangerous Wonder:

Most of my life I heard the message loud and clear that Christianity was all about coloring within the lines and coloring well. If I was a good Christian, if I loved Jesus and wanted to please Him, if I read my Bible, prayed, and went to church, then I would get better and better at coloring. And if I lived a long and godly life, I would eventually be able to draw close to the perfect drawing.

Wherever that message came from, it was a lie. I am fifty-five years old and my coloring still looks like Alana’s (the two-year-old daughter of a friend).

I believe God looks at my coloring and says, “Hmmmmm. You certainly like the color green! Lots of passion in this stroke. I like it.”

Even as I write those words, I can hear the “concern” of those who worry about others misunderstanding the gospel. “You’re not suggesting, are you, that nothing matters to God? Certainly, God has standards!”

What I am suggesting is that God’s grace is so outside the lines of our understanding that we can only stand in awe and wonder. Christianity is not about learning how to live within the lines; Christianity is about the joy of coloring. The grace of God is preposterous enough to accept as beautiful a coloring that anyone else would reject as ugly. The grace of God sees beyond the scribbling to the heart of the scribbler—a scribbler who is similar to the two thieves who hung on crosses on either side of Jesus. One of the two asked Jesus to please accept his scribbled and sloppy life into the kingdom of God…and He did. Preposterous. And very good news for the rest of us scribblers.

Imagine a new couple—let’s call them John and Lisa—who begin attending a Sunday morning service in a typical conservative evangelical church. They are remarkably transparent from day one—a trait that some people find refreshing—and they open themselves up like a book to an entire congregation of strangers, not realizing that most people avoid such things for fear of being judged. Not John and Lisa. Maybe no one warned them. They came because a friend invited them and, surprisingly, they continue to attend the services weekly, even though church-going has never been a regular experience for either one. They are completely naive and unassuming about everything related to the Christian life, especially what’s considered “inside the lines” or “outside the lines.”

I can promise you…someone’s going to get their nose out of joint because John and Lisa don’t fit into their expectations of what constitutes a “good Christian” even though they know this couple is just beginning to investigate Christianity up close. They will discover John likes to go to the casino once a month, or that Lisa has had an abortion, or that the couple enjoys a few beers when they go tailgating with their non-church-going friends during football season, or that they are convinced evolutionists and, God forbid, card-carrying Libertarians! You see, when we’ve been bullied into coloring inside the lines, it drives us crazy when other people just scribble for the fun of it (and get away with it).

To me, it’s one of the reasons people are walking away from institutional Christianity. Maybe John and Lisa will find a loving fellowship where they are accepted as they are, where others are willing to allow God’s Spirit to do His work in His own timing in their lives, and where the active love of Christ demonstrated through others kindles a thirst in their hearts for authentic Christianity, as opposed to legalistic adherence to a form of religion that sucks the joy and life right out of them. I hope they find a place that welcomes scribblers. I’d love to find such a place, too.

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