Calvinism and mental health: have you been exposed?
Anyone who is considering the plunge into Reformed theology really ought to check their mental health, since there seems to be something inherent within the "doctrines of grace" that attracts all sorts of kooks, wierdos, and nut cases. Yep, I'm almost convinced that Calvinism is a sign of a sick mind. Maybe it's just me, but that's my impression after kicking around this asylum for twenty-four years. I should have listened to my wife back in 1983. As a first year student at Mid-America Theological Seminary (my first serious ministry blunder), I was commuting weekly from the Mississippi Delta, spending the weekdays in Memphis learning Greek verb conjugations and reading such world-class "nutters" as John Calvin, Charles Hodge, William Hendricksen, Martin Luther, John Murray, and D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, in preparation for preaching verse-by-verse through the Book of Romans each weekend. I was serving as a student pastor in a small rural church near Greenville, Mississippi, where I received death threats for sharing Christ with the black residents of our little village. "That's okay for missionaries," I was told, but it was unacceptable on the home front, even though our darker friends outnumbered us ten to one in our village. Each Friday evening, I would arrive home from Memphis and begin unloading my twisted thoughts on predestination, reprobation, free will (or the lack thereof), and a host of other topics. My wife said, "You're absolutely nuts! I've never heard any of this before and I've been going to church all my life!" She was right, but my persistent ranting and raving finally wore her down and she fell prey to the same theological insanity. Within months, we learned to disfigure our faces at the mere mention of such free-will heretics as Jacobus Arminius, John Wesley, and Billy Graham. And we passionately described our theological transformation as "being born again, again!" And it wasn't long before we were introduced to a completely different world of contemporary voices—such as J. I. Packer, James Montgomery Boice, R. C. Sproul, and Albert N. Martin—along with the newly-discovered Banner of Truth Trust that filled our home with books to support our daily habit: the five points of Calvinism. After moving to Nebraska to plant our first church, I was introduced to one of the greatest "theological nut cases" of all time, Tony Mattia, an Italian former Roman Catholic who would cross himself before each meal, mockingly imitate Jimmy Swaggart (in spite of Al Martin's scathing denunciation of his levity) at Banner Conferences, and carry a bust of Charles Haddon Spurgeon into the pulpit at the annual Founders Conference. This guy is a real piece of work, in spite of his great learning, and the guys in white coats are still scratching their heads on how best to capture him. He jumps from place to place without warning, even being spotted in downtown Cardiff, Wales, a couple of years ago. I think he must have communicated some of his virulent mental illness to me. Calvinists can't agree on a lot of things: it's part of our genetic code, I guess, so we continue to split theological hairs ad infinitum. Although we are still enjoying the warm sunshine of a twenty-five-year-long resurgence that some might even call a "New Reformation," we continue to splinter our fellowship at an alarming rate. There are untold mutations—not unlike members of "The 4400"—that divide us even though our shared love for Truth ought to unite us. Here's are some recent sightings, just on the North American continent:
- Acts 29 Juvenile Ward — radically scary, postmodern Calvinists; atypical interest in missional church planting, life-in-the-raw realists; a frightening commitment to share Jesus with pimps, prostitutes, and homeless people; some advocate tatoos & tasty adult beverages; vague reports of cigar and pipe-smoking pastors; tattered blue jeans and sandals are a remarkably constant nondress code
- Founders Funny Farm — fairly quiet when taking their Annuity pills; don't-rock-the-boat approach to missions; chronic complainers about "the system," but don't do much about it; traditionalists; fun-loving, back-slapping Ray Barone-style Calvinists; annual reunions; many struggle with obesity rampant due to chicken-fried diets
- Sovereign Grace Baptist Hospital for the Theologically Challenged — early adopters; independent; dispensational; hate the word "Reformed"; King James (with a sprinkling of NIV heretics in the mix), Calvinistic fundies with a fascination for Rolfe Barnard and Henry Mahan; now very few in number, but scattered all over the world
- ARBCA ITR (Association of Reformed Baptist Church of America Institute for the Totally Reformed) — self-cloning; extremely isolated, except for a very few, more normal, "Founders" guys; fairly serious 1689-ers; suspicious of anyone from New Jersey or Nashville; careful, measured approach to everything, especially stuff that might make you smile; distant cousins to the NJ group
- New Jersey Nuthouse — d.b.a. Trinity Baptist Church, Montville, NJ; no smiling, hugging, or chatting allowed in "the sanctuary"; ultra-serious 1689-ers; past history of authoritarian abuse (hope they found a cure for that); independent; anti-denominational and anti-associational; soothed by high-decibel, human windmills in the pulpit
- Sovereign Grace Ministries Halfway House — theologically schizophrenic; very excitable when they hear "praise & worship" songs from expensive sound systems; multi-lingual prayer time; fascination with bald-headed prophets; many fear a growing worldwide epidemic (now on four continents); hands-on training of new inmates for lightning-fast redeployment; fixation on missions & church planting reminiscent of Acts 29 "juvies"
I have friends in all of these institutions, so that really messes with my head. There are dozens more I could list—these are just SOME of the Baptist variety—but this blog post is already pushing the limits of my own insanity.
I found your post to be hilarious as you described us and our friends in the faith. You forgot that the keeper of this ward is still King Jesus, so we have a chance!
I believe I actually snorted whilst reading this post. Thanks for the Thursday giggle!
Oh, you should be sainted…this was hysterical. In my discourses with Catholics I get, “You protestants have a gazillion denominations. What do you make of that?!”
Your post is the reply I’ve been groping for.
Thanks to Scott (at Acts 29) for reminding me that Jesus is in charge of this looney bin; and for UberGoober’s willingness to stoop down with the rest of us for a rip-snorting laugh at our predicament; and iMonk for blowing my blog stats through the roof with his humble post at Boar’s Head. As for Lynn’s suggestion of sainthood, I have already received that honor, since being adopted into this crazy family. Special thanks to Father who gives us our sense of humor, as I wonder if a thunderous guffaw roared through heaven when I hit the “publish” button on this one.
Bill,
What are we ever going to do with you? I think your time across the “pond” has been good for you
I put a link to this post on my Blog last night…
Grace to all,
As someone from the outside looking in on all this Calvinism stuff and still a bit shell shocked with it all, I am glad that there is someone out there who can have a bit of a sense of humor about things and about themselves. My own impression is that with certain blogs and certain organizations what we have are fight clubs or dueling clubs. A couple hundred years ago dueling was a real bad problem in many European countries, and somewhat in America as well. (Remember Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton’s famous duel.) Dueling has been outlawed, but that same spirit has re-expressed itself in some of these blogs and other “clubs”. Or so it seems to me. – Mike Cheek
Hey, are you implying Fred Phelps is a nutcase?!
Thanks,
For someone who has been in the RB [Reformed Baptist] movement since 1981—and since had a break down in part because of it—your comments are spot on. We are enjoying our new friends at Acts 29 and as a RB church (Liberal) we are working hard at worshipping privately and hence coporately so the overflow from the inside out will renew us thru new revelational from Scripture (on being missional) and repenting of self-centredness invidually and hence corporately as a Church. What a mouthful!
Yours from Down Under (Oztralia)
Nelson Thompson
Nelson: Thanks for adding your confession to the growing list of former lunatics. One of my daughters—who grew up under my legalistic ministry as a teenager—commented to my wife online the other day, “Wow, Dad’s really gone soft over the past couple of years!” I was thrilled at the compliment! Shows I am making progress, I think.
You are so right about Trinity Baptist Church – Montville, NJ headed by Al Martin. I was a member there for almost 20 years and am thankful that God delivered me out of that destructive place and from that destructive man. That evil man has single-handedly destroyed marriage after marriage. And why? All because one spouse dared to differ from Al Martin and his church policy. The standard procedure is this:
When one spouse starts to bring up issues about the “church” to the other spouse and starts to question the elder/pastor or church doctrine, the other spouse immediately reports back to the “leaders” about this issue (initially perhaps under the phony guise of “asking for prayer”). But really, that IS the first step of the crap hitting the fan. The “elders” are furious about this. Special instructions are given to the “obedient” and “faithful” spouse to report back immediately of any increased “disaffection”. Close monitoring is now implemented. Spies are sent out; any incoming mail must be screened by the “obedient” spouse. Talk of “separation” is now introduced to deal with and punish the offender.
But when this doesn’t work……when the “unsubmissive” and “unruly” spouse increases in their true understanding of the Scriptures and begins to grow even the more in seeing unbiblical authoritarianism for what it truly is, then, that’s the end. The “leaders” cannot and will not put up with this “leaven”. When all else fails, divorce is the only option. And all the while along the way, the other spouse, that “faithful”, “God-fearing recognizer of their duly-authorized leader”, was being primed and counseled as to the rightness and scripturalness of this “sad” decision, and is all-to-happy and eager to comply!
It truly is a sad day in which we live today.
Ramon
We do need to laugh at ourselves. The folks that can appreciate the mental health area are the sovereign grace believers, if they get their theology right. After all, many of the categories of mental illness/behavioral/cognitive/affective/etc problems surely are symptoms of the real issue of depravity. Mistreatment of one another is also a symptom, and there are those who believe in sovereign grace who do seem bent on using billy clubs, etc. Some are just as sick as are some of other theological persuasions. Theology alone does not answer all questions. God is a great deep, the greatest in fact. The Bible has anticipated the pschotherapies and then some. I think it is the ultimate therapy, but not in the way many seem to use it, namely, as confrontational only. Granted it does involve confrontation in many cases, but it also involves other approaches. God in the Bible is like a great parent holding a traumatized child and loving on that child while the child strikes at Him. The manifestation of this will become more clear in the Third Great Awakening. God speed the day.