It was an awkward transition how i met my current boyfriend. In the midst of me gradually distancing myself from my ex, a former co-worker of mine had become very close to me. I seeked guidance and someone to talk to, and he is your all-around great guy, a wonderful, dedicated Christian: charismatic, sweet, honest, straightforward, humorous, would do ANYTHING for those he was close to. I vented to him about EVERYTHING I had done. Slowly we became friends, then closer pals, dating, now in a VERY serious relationship. I’m 20 and he’s 27.

As of today, we’ve been together close to 13 and a half months. I don’t work with him anymore…but we’ve been living together for a year now…ABSTINENT. We do sleep in the same bed. It’s very hard for me, and I would NEVER dream of cheating or leaving him for it. He’s truly the best person I’ve ever known. Sometimes I just get frustrated and then just think of how selfish I’m being. Maybe it’s because of my age or that I’m “experienced” but some days I just get so annoyed. I’m not an aggressive person whatsoever so us fighting over THAT is not a problem.

I’m very shy about discussing such things with anyone but, being as close as we are, I decided to ask him one night a couple of months ago. We were laying in bed and he could tell something was on my mind, so hesitantly I asked “Why haven’t we had sex yet?” I burst into tears because I didn’t realize how it sounded until it came out of my mouth. He held me and comforted me and explained that I should know better than anyone that he makes mistakes and sins everyday but when it comes down to it, he always tries to do the right thing and he just believes that waiting is just the right thing to do. He said it’s a relevant question in today’s society ‘cuz we’re closing in on our one year bump. He’s only had sex with one person and it was 7 years ago. His relationship with that girl lasted 5 years, and she cheated on him the last year of it. So needless to say he’s VERY particular and cautious when it comes to his future and what kind of people he wants in it.

But more pertaining to the point of the page, i just want to add, sex isn’t everything but it IS something. Respect for the belief of someone you truly “love” should come first and foremost even if its not the easiest thing to stand.

I know sex is a big issue among some of the people I am reaching out to today. They won’t come out and say it, but they are hesitant about joining a Bible study, and I think a big part is b/c they are sexually active. I have even been tempted to say, “if you come to the Bible study I promise I won’t start telling you what you should and shouldn’t do.” I hope that they eventually join, and that they will get a chance to hear God’s word w/o immediately worrying about which “encumbrances He is going to free them from.”