Last March I began experiencing symptoms that landed me in the emergency room for a couple of hours, but blood tests and an electrocardiogram ruled out a heart attack. That was good news! But I discovered that things move much more slowly within the National Health Service (NHS) of Britain: routine tests that would have occurred within forty-eight hours in America have just been completed this week, nearly eight months later. Every subsequent test—like the treadmill stress test or echo cardiogram or angiogram—has a waiting list of several months. Sometimes it takes two or three weeks just to find out one’s test results.
As a precautionary measure until more conclusive tests could be completed, doctors placed me on the same medications as a heart attack victim. It was really scary, because I couldn’t walk a hundred yards without stopping to catch my breath (and reaching into my pocket to make sure I had the nitro spray, just in case). And all the medical community could say with certainty was: “It’s probably just angina.” The symptoms disappeared after eight weeks. My doctor felt that the prescribed medications were just doing their job; but I was hoping for a more optimistic outcome. Earlier this week those hopes were dashed as an angiogram pulled back the curtain, so to speak, and revealed some serious heart disease that probably has more to do with genetics than anything else.
So it’s been a difficult week. There are two options: remain on the cardiac drug cocktail for the rest of my life or undergo a heart bypass operation. I’m looking at a very uncertain future by relying solely on prescription drugs, but the surgical options are not very promising either. My stateside family members are encouraging me to return to America for immediate surgery, but we don’t have health insurance that would cover such an expensive operation. I’m leaning toward having the surgery here, at least talking to a cardiac surgeon about this option, but not until after the new year.
At the moment, I’m trying to rest in God’s love for me and my family, but I admit it’s easier said than done. If God brings me to your mind from time to time, please pray that I might have wisdom in making the right decision and that whatever this new chapter brings into my life, I will be an authentic witness of God’s amazing grace and love.
[On the lighter side: Does this mean I have to restrict my intake of Southern-style cooking? Throw away my new Jimmy Dean Sausage recipe? No way! My cholesterol is so low right now, I could eat biscuits and gravy every morning without worry.]
Bill,
Juanita and I will be praying for you… I will also add you to our Chruch prayer list and share your need for prayer with all your old reformed friends in the panhandle of Florida.
Greg
I will certainly be praying for you this holiday season.
hey Bill my friend, we need to talk. You’re in my prayers
I’m so sorry for your bad news and the long delays you have experienced.
I hope that God will put people in your path who will encourage you. You can live a long, full life with much worse heart problems than it sounds like you have. I have friends who’ve had heart attacks and have found a new and happy normal. (Easy for me to say….)
Take care of yourself, and know that even complete strangers are praying for you.
… will be praying for you, brother.
Thanks, everyone! Your comments and prayers are a great encouragement!
Praying as you asked us to…that you might have wisdom in making the right decision and that whatever this new chapter brings into your life, you will be an authentic witness of God’s amazing grace and love.
Bill,
I am deeply distressed to learn of your unpleasant health news. Your anxiety is compunded I’m sure because of the holidays. I have walked your path as I too have heart disease and had four bypasses at age 44 (ten years ago). All I know is that your times are in His hands and you of all people know that.
This disease causes us to constantly question our mortality. First, I believe that this is something the Lord has permitted in your life to exert a new discipline and a greater dependence on Him. I believe that this means greater service and fruit bearing to come in your life and minstry. I would like very much to come see you this summer and spend a few days ministering with you on the beautiful field of Wales.
Be assurred of my daily prayers for you and Sherry and I remind you of the great words of comfort from Spurgeon.
“God is too good to be unkind and too wise to be mistaken. When you cannot trace His hand you can always trust His heart.”
In Christ,
John
Bill, I haven’t checked your blog in several months. I’ve been busy substitue teaching for a lady on maternity leave since the middle of October.
At the moment I’m doing something that I have never done before – preaching a sermon series to the ladies and gentleman or two on the subject of Fear and Despair. I began with a simple asking of the question, “Do TRUE Christians experience fear and despair?” Of you course you know that answer… YES!
The Lord brought you to my mind this morning as I began collecting my thoughts on Timothy’s experience. So far we’ve touched lightly on David’s and Paul’s experience with fear and despair. You may not be in the “fear and despair” category right now, but, I thought I’d let you know that I love you and am praying for you and will share this story with our folks at University Pines this morning.
“We have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power might be of God and not of us.” II Cor 4:7
There’s a lot more in that section that I’m sure you are familiar with, but let me leave you with one more little word:
I Cor 4:17 “For our light and momentary affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory…”
He has ordered your steps brother.
Tom
Bill,
This is the first time I’ve been to Thin Edge since early Friday…. Please know that you will be in mine and Lisa’s prayers during this time. We will pray for healing, wisdom, and the opportunity for you to build bridges to those who do not yet know Christ through this time….I know you will.
If there is anything else we can do stateside, please let us know.
Jeff
Guy, John, Tom, & Jeff: I really appreciate your prayers and your continued encouragement in the goodness of God. Hope you all have a great Christmas Day tomorrow!