This little piggy had none. Sure about that?

Before you bite into your next pulled pork barbeque sandwich, you might want to ask yourself “I wonder if this little piggy had none” as it relates to (what some insist is) animal cruelty. Several British organizations—including the House of Commons’ Environment, Food, and the Rural Affairs Committee—are insisting on new packaging labels, “to ensure that consumers know the country of origin of their bacon sandwich and that the animals were well treated.”

I was reading today’s Times article, “Alarm over cruelty behind the bacon on our breakfast plates,” on the train to London; and since I am heading to the Deep South tomorrow, I couldn’t help but smile a little. Most Americans would roll on the floor laughing at the idea of pampering pigs before killing them. I can just imagine some of my friends from the Southern States (aka “rednecks”) trying to make such adjustments at their local Sonny’s Real Pit Bar-B-Q or Cracker Barrel:

“Ma’am, can you tell me if Porky here (pointing at his barbecue pork sandwich) died with a smile on his face?”

“Boy, that pork chop sure was delicious! [loud belch] I sure hope Piglet got to spend the last few weeks of his life romping in a beautiful green field with his friends.”

“Can you honestly say that my Piggly was wiggly when he met his demise? I just couldn’t eat my sausage & eggs if I thought he was depressed and sad, living out his days indoors in a cramped pig pen.”

One British celebrity chef, Jamie Oliver, has been recruited for the crusade and he has just produced an educational television show, Jamie Saves Our Bacon. Most likely, he will show his audience how to prepare recipes with labels that guarantee that their fresh pork came from pigs that were once covered with excrement and mud before being shot in the head with a high-powered, pneumatic slaughtering gun.

Dead is dead. There’s no getting around it. If the Members of Parliament and the Royal Society for the Protection of Cruelty to Animals (RSPCA) really want to raise the bar, why not simply ask British citizens to give up meat entirely? No more bacon butties or quarter-pound burgers or chicken stir fry! Seriously, the day might come.

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